Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs (2004, Hardcover)

Discover the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage

Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.

Today, you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. His revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.

Using Dr. Eggerich's breakthrough techniques, couples nationwide are achieving a brand-new level of intimacy and learning how to: - stop the Crazy Cycle of conflict - initiate the Energizing Cycle of change - enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of new passion

And if you'll take this biblically based counsel to heart, your marriage could be next!

I am a psychology major with my main focus on family issues. This book proved to have scientific backing and of course very inspirational as it is a christian book. I love how the author not only uses the bible but also university studies to prove his point. In a nut shell this book claims that women's greatest desire is to be loved and men's desperately need respect. This may seem a little over simplified but when reading the book, reality will sink in and things become clearer. I would recommend this book even to the non-christian book reader.

This book contains some helpful tips on relating to one's spouse. However, it contains too much sexism, for instance, calling men the leaders, but not REQUIRING them to lead (stating that the "more mature" person should take the lead whether man or woman.) That's practical, but why not require leaders to lead?!
Eggerichs makes the point that wives need to respect their husbands, and husbands need to love their wives, but it seems clear that scripturally, both genders need both. The author does say that both genders need both love and respect, but that's not the point of his text, in fact, it's the antithesis of his overall thrust, so it's a disconnect every time he undercuts his thesis. I encourage the reading of 1Peter 3:8-9 which instructs both partners to live harmoniously, sympathetically, brotherly, not giving insults but blessings.

Eggrichs coins the term "crazy cycle" for an argument or escalating disagreement. He gives some practical helps in dealing with these, but doesn't get to the root issues that precipitate the disagreement.

I have known professionals who worked with the mentally disturbed and they bristle at the term "crazy" and find it inappropriate. In this case, I agree, because it is not a crazy cycle; people of sound mind but hurt, disappointed or in some other way affected may find themselves arguing...but they are not crazy.

I would not recommend this book, even though it may help some. There are many much more inspiring texts on relating to one's spouse.

I would strongly recommend this book for anyone wishing to improve their marriage relationship. A must read for husbands and wives. Wish I had read it years ago.

Every couple should read this book! If you read it before you are married you will start your marriage off on the right foot, if you read it after you are married, it will only strengthen your relationship. It is a book that is based on Biblical principles and helps you understand the difference between men and women. You will not be the same person after you read this book. It is a very easy read and well worth the time.