Witless Protection (DVD, 2008, Full Screen Version)

Like so many comedians allowed to headline films following a successful stand up routine the film itself is simply a vehicle for the continuation of their comic persona, and I suppose there is no shame in that. Andrew "Dice" Clay did it well, Rodney Dangerfield struck gold with it, so why can't Larry The Cable Guy follow those foot steps of his comedy fore fathers? The world may never know, or maybe it has to do with the fact that Dice and Dangerfield were able to expand beyond their 10 minute act? I don't know, I'm not a doctor. Point being, "Witless Protection" is a slew of low brow sex gags and fart jokes with a big ole Southern twang to every line of dialogue, and for atleast the first 20 minutes every one liner fired is near failure.

The plot...does it need one? For film's sake, one is loosely strung together involving small time Sheriff's Deputy Larry having high hopes of FBI stardom and he sees his chance when he percieves a women being escorted by ACTUAL FBI agents is in fact being kidnapped by drug lords. Larry snatches her up and the two travel cross country as the odd couple. Throw in dirty cops, a CEO embezzling company earnings, and no less than a dozen mammoth farts and there you have it.

I want to say this film failed because it wasn't funny, and that is a major point, but once you get past the dull first act set up, I actually found myself laughing quite a bit. The last 15 minutes aren't funny, nor are the first 20, so that leaves about a modest 40 or so minutes of decent one liners and funny situations. But the laughs are so far between I honestly found myself wondering if this were a still a comedy or not?

I really don't know what else to say, I should say more to my disdain but I can't hate the film as it still had me laughing. Eric Roberts was the one thing I genuinely liked. Jenny McCarthy, in all her 10 minutes of screen time, shined and bounced pleasurably. But the majority of the film is a hodge podge of hit and miss gags. Larry's film career was sealed and buried after this. I haven't seen "Delta Farce", and I likely won't after "Witless Protection". What a shame to see a talent wasted so fast.

This really is an OK movie. Only the most uptight of folks would find this that awful. The Good - Jenny, Ivana, Larry, stereotypes, mindless fun, witless conversation, Mississippi scenes (kinda looked like Illinois to me though), multiple mammary closeups, ....

The Bad - Jenny, Ivana, Larry, stereotypes, mindless fun, witless conversation, Mississippi scenes (kinda looked like Illinois to me though), multiple mammary closeups, ....

Simple stupid entertainment. As for my vote, well it was like deciding the presidential vote. We deserve better, but Obama(Ivana), Hilliary (Larry), and John (Jenni) are higher than "poor", but not even close to "excellent".

Whats a Southern boy to do?

Good movie fun for the whole family. But ya have to like larry the cable guy. His country wit and style of humer are refreshing. His slapstick style is just funny, what more can I say.

Larry the Cable Guy does it again. If you like Larry, this is one of his best.
Yes the movie over all is just silly. But if you want you want to laugh and
just have some pure entertainment. This is for you.

"It IS What It Is"... so if you Like "Larry the Cable Guy", you will LOVE this film, which was universally panned by the critics. YES - Larry is "Stuck-On Stupid", but that is his "Bread & Butter". Hey Critics - Lighten-UP...!


Loaded with Larry's typical double entendres and jokes of questionable taste, watch Larry bumble into a loosely scripted scenario where he has to protect his gorgeous witness from all sides - Good & Evil. There are a dozen scenes which will make you scream with laughter, while others reveal a weak cast of charaters who will make you wail.


Larry is an extremely smart performer and businessman. When he has his guard down, there is absolutely NO Southern Accent in his voice. The first time I heard him speak normally, I was stunned. "Know your Audience" they say, and Larry embraced what Jeff Foxworthy started and has taken it to another level.


Full disclosure - I was an "Extra" in this film, and also made it into the trailer, when scenes were shot in Glen Ellyn, IL in 2007.


All said and done, I'll give it 3 1/2 STARS, based entirely on Larry's ability to "Shock & Awe" his fan base.


Enjoy...! -BC