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The Vampires Assistant (DVD, 2010)
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In the bizarre world of "Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant," there's a war brewing over, how to put this simply, "portion" control. It seems the truce between those who sip, leaving humans a little weaker but none the wiser, and those who guzzle, gluttons who leave death, destruction and no tip behind, has been on hold for a couple hundred years. But those peaceful days are about to end in Paul Weitz's stab at vampire camp in "Cirque du Freak," a not quite deadly adaptation of the frothy fanged kids book series by Darren Shan. Interestingly, the lead character is a 16-year-old named Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia). Coincidence? I think not. Darren's a good kid, makes good grades and seems to be taking a pass on the whole teen rebellion thing except for his delinquent best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson). That is, until the Cirque comes to town (cue ominous music). Despite being told not to go, come evening Darren and Steve are there, claiming to be 21. How 16 is that? There's a good mix of appropriately gross freaks from minor aberrations like Snake Boy (Patrick Fugit), who seems to have nothing more than a bad case of green psoriasis, to major freakishness like Corma Limbs (Jane Krakowski), who can regenerate body parts, which comes in handy when there's an angry werewolf around. But the real discovery of the night is Crepsley (John C. Reilly) and his performing pet spider, a big bright red and blue poisonous plush one named Octa, who blinks, bites and bounces around trying her best to look lethal. Now here's the weird thing, Darren really likes spiders and Steve is obsessed with vampires and he's sure that Crepsley is one. Have they come to the right place or what? Soon there's an Octa heist, a bad spider bite, some DNA testing by a nasty fat man named Mr. Tiny (Michael Cerveris) and Darren's having to make a really major life decision -- like should he become a half-vampire to get the spider-dote for Steve and fool his family into thinking he's dead? The answer, my friends, is yes, a quick death and a very long life are definitely in the cards for Darren. The themes in "Cirque" are typical teenage ones -- feeling like a freak, unsure of who you are or what you want to be in life, ready to fall in love, kinda, especially when the monkey girl (Jessica Carlson) is so cute, and falling out with your best friend.Read full review
My whole family loves this movie! The movie is actually a compilation of several of Darren Shan's novels. The cirque de freak series is an excellent read for young adults and up. The movie itself, took the very best parts of several books while leaving enough for a sequel. Unfortunately, the movie did not go over too well with critics and they barely made enough to cover production costs. There may very well NOT be another movie because of this. The actors were perfectly cast. John C. Reilly was superb in the role of Crepsley and newcomer Chris Massoglia added a fresh characterization of "Darren". It was dramatic, funny and the sets were incredible. It was just "scary" enough to make it believable but not too much for my 8 year old to watch or follow. We watch it weekly, and always find something new to enjoy. The DVD also has some wonderful special features that showcase the production of this movie and allow a glimpse into the actors' characters. I highly recommend this movie to add to your DVD collection!Read full review
This is good movie. The problem is that some people feel that the movie was dull because the acting bad and the actors were unknown faces. We keep forgetting in the past that is how some movies get started, not all the time we have well know faces. Even so the movie could of been better. I wish they try to again with this book. It has so much potential just needed somebody who sees what I see. I wish I had the money, I would try to make book 2 come to life on the big screen, with the same actors but different director. To the writer I never even heard of your books so shame on me. The only reason I took interest is because it was another take on vampires and I was curious how you view vampires. You open my eyes to something else that was different. There is so many versions of vampires and usually the result is that they are bad. You brought something different to the table, which is greatly needed at the moment. All the stories now in Hollywood are the same that is my opinion only. I have not seen a decent movie for awhile without it being all jacked up with nonsense. Please bring back Vampire Assistant Book 2. It needs to be revisited.Read full review
I watched this on Netflix because I thought I recognized part of the title, but I couldn't remember where from. (Now I realize I must have seen it in a bookstore in passing.) So the film was my first exposure to this franchise. I thought it was a blast! In the first forty seconds I was so caught off-guard by the sheer *whattheheckitude* of the opening hook.... that I decided to keep watching. I was only killing time doing laundry; I'd thought to just switch it off whenever I got bored. But that point never came. As of this writing I have seen the film, and listened to the first four books in audio format. Both are engaging and entertaining. I see a lot of hate for the film from book fans, but having begun listening to the books myself, I begin to understand and respect the choices the filmmakers made for the movie. Books and films are two very different mediums. It is impossible to tell the exact same story through each. The books are great, but if the filmmakers had been more true to them.... well first of all the movie probably would have been rated R! Also, it would have carried on for hours and hours and I think the plot would have felt sluggish, as the books do feel slightly episodic. The filmmakers had to compact some elements for run time, and cut some others completely. Naturally, this changed the overall flavor of the story. But you know what? For how much this altered the tone, I think they did an *excellent* job making a story that could stand up well and deliver solid entertainment. With some elements cut and the original flavor gutted, they had to add in a few new elements of their own. And while some of these run in direct contrast to what was written in the books (like some of Mr. Crepsley's mannerisms, the spider's temperament, SEVERAL cirque performers' appearances, relationships and backstories), I think they were the perfect choices for the tone the movie was trying to set. The books are depressing, I ain't gonna lie. They offer deep and creepy stories that leave you feeling pensive for a few days. They are the kind of stuff that makes people create fanart just for catharsis. They are excellent, penetrating and thought-provoking. But the movie? The movie wants you to have a good time. And you will. Great performances by the big names, decent acting from the younger ones, a quick pace throughout, and no shortage of alarming moments---be they hilarious or terrifying---that will keep you thoroughly engaged. The ending does feel a bit left open---it's a shame they never followed through with sequel films to tie it up---but all in all, I'd say this is a good, solid flick for a good time, and you *will* be entertained. Bring a friend.Read full review
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A small-town teen who inadvertently shatters a 200-year-old truce between warring factions of vampires. Sixteen-year-old Darren is your typical adolescent; he spends most of his time with his best friend, Steve, earns decent grades, and generally manages to stay out of trouble. But trouble finds Darren when he and Steve make the acquaintance of a vampire named Larten Crepsley while attending a traveling freak show at a local theater. This movie is loosely based on the first trilogy, Vampire Blood. Watching this movie I tried to forget all the things I knew from the books. And yes, this movie experience turned out to be a very enjoyable one. The pace of the movie is pretty good: there's a lot to be told here. There's a lot of humour in it (the books were pretty serious) and the voice-over by Darren Shan works very well. Especially the first 20 minutes (with the actual freakshow) were well done. Ken Watanabe is a great Mr. Tall, the boss of Cirque du Freak. He gives the movie a great mysterious quality. Well done.Read full review
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