Product ReviewsHis Needs, Her Needs : Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley Jr. (1990, Hardcover)

Helpful Marriage book.

Good as a long married couple as a brush up on how to have a better marriage. Wonderful for a struggling marriage. Read it years ago and have applied the principals. Bought this for a struggling friend.Read full review...

Verified purchase:  Yes | Condition: pre-owned | Sold by: alibrisbooks

His Needs Her Needs

This book was recommended by my minister as I consider remarrying after 7 years of widowhood. I found it insulting to the intelligence of any rational, thinking human being who has a caring soul.
The book was in excellent condition and was delivered in a shorter time than was expected.Read full review...

Verified purchase:  Yes | Condition: pre-owned | Sold by: -DZANr0pTyq@Del...

His needs, her needs

I like learning about what makes my husband tick. The author is very detailed about what the differences are between men and women. Unfortunately, he writes for the majority. If you are different than the majority you might not see this as helpful. Like he says women have this need to talk everything to death. I actually am not like that. I like to keep conversation short and sweet. So, that part of the book did not apply to me. Other parts were really good though. Overall it was worth buying.Read full review...

Not the best selection.

This book provides many anecdotes as examples of how men and women should and often do not relate well to each other's emotional needs within a marriage. If that is how you learn best, by example, you may want to read this book.

However, I feel there is too much emphasis placed on the potential and reasons for anyone to have an affair. It feels like reading chapter after chapter of a bad soap opera. Not all marital problems lead to marital affairs. Sometimes the "infidelity" is another activity, such as golf, bowling, too frequent dinner parties, even church can be a form of infidelity. Lynette Hoy defined Infidelity as any activity that detracts from and takes priority over the marriage. I found the incessant references and implication that emotional neglect within a marriage ALWAYS leads to extramarital affairs to be distasteful and unnecessary.

There is just as much - and maybe more - helpful marriage and relationship advice available free on the internet. Save your money and try out Dr. Harley's own web site for starters, http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ and overlook the sales pitch for the book. If you've already read and understood John Gray or Gary Smalley, you probably don't need this book.Read full review...

What every person should read!

This book is one of the very best I've ever read on marriage and relationships. Instead of a whole bunch of complicated mumbo jumbo, this author breaks a persons needs into 10 categories, and while they may not be "exact" for each individual, they do hit the mark most of the time. This is a book I have bought for many people and think it is one of the best tools to not only recover from a down turn in your relationship, but also to prevent problems from occuring in the future.Read full review...

Great book for couples

I like it. It is a very easy read and it brings forth all of those obvious aspects that we tend to forget in a relationship. People have different needs. Understanding their basic needs and attending to them is what will make them happy. If you are concerned with their needs and they're concerned with yours, both parties are happy. A very simple premise, that tends to get lost in our day-&-age.
I do however feel that at times, it can be slightly onesided. It seems to hit the fellows a bit harder than the ladies. For example, he puts the men responsible for attending to the women's affection needs and then it even seems to blame the men for not getting their own sexual needs met (due to being negligent with foreplay, clumsly, unskilled lovers, not giving of affection, etc.). The book tends to slap them on the wrist more often for any short comings on their part while not being as harsh with women. We're told, they need sex but then he goes straight to the men to tell them what they may be doing wrong to not properly engage us (women). Now, that being said, I do indeed agree him, but that is something that could be met with a bit of resistance depending on how open your male partner is to receiving criticism (however constructive it may be).Read full review...

A couple's delight!!!

The book is very informative. I wish I would have read it before I got married and divorced. Maybe I would have been a little more patient. I ordered a second copy to share with any one I am in a serious relationship with. We must be on the same page and the book has that information.Read full review...

Verified purchase:  Yes | Condition: pre-owned | Sold by: discover-books

Learn her needs and your needs will be met ; )

I personally purchased the book to help improve my understanding of women. After reading this insightful book, I understand clearly the most important aspects of a marriage for both the man and woman. This book has been a hot topic for my own relationship, and the many friends I have shared it with. I never new that sexual gratification was a man's top need in life now I don't feel so bad feeling the way I do towards my woman. I now know what her needs are and I make sure to provide them as best I can. The book was very helpful for me and I highly recommend reading it.Read full review...

His Needs, Her Needs

My husband and I have read this book out loud with each other a number of times. It's so helpful to learn how we each think differently, have most of the same needs, yet not in the same order of priority. Learning what is MOST important to each other allows the partner to focus on what's most important to the other, allowing for a stronger, healthier relationship.
In spite of the fact that we aren't "religious" but would consider ourselves "spiritual" it's easy to translate the "God & Bible" references in the book. It's about loving each other the way that is needed.
We'd both highly recommend the book!Read full review...

Needing more

This book is helpful providing some basic gender-based differences that apply to many men and women. However, it is overgeneralized in some ways and not particularly in depth. For instance, it states that men like to do things so women need to join men in their activities (i.e. sports) - however, this may or may not be as easy or as fun as the author glibly states. It may be helpful if a couple needs a general idea of what might make their partner more enthused about the relationship.Read full review...